This is the final installment from Carol on her 18 year battle. I would like you to know that Carol, Pete, and Sue have restored my faith in humanity. That there are people who will do what is right because it is the right thing to do, no matter how hard or personally challenging it is. They saw a monster in their family and they drew their swords to stop him, and soothe those whom he had hurt.

January 10, 2005  --  I had joined Tim when he faced the Archdiocese Sex Abuse Review Committee for his mediation hearing and was told to take up my own concerns with them on another date.  I sent Msgr. John Shamleffer a letter letting him know how I felt about the poor way they have been handling things.  I told him I had the feeling they didn’t think any of it was all that big a deal, but that he should remember what Jesus said about those who hurt children.

(He responded wanting me to come in and personally meet with them.)

April 2, 2005 – I wrote him saying I wasn’t comfortable meeting with any of them.    I asked him to get a ministry in the works to help sex abuse victims their families, friends, and all the parishioners, too.  Everyone needs help in dealing with this tragedy.  It’s not just going to go away.

June 1, 2005 – In response to some correspondence I had sent to the President of the Women’s Guild at his parish, regarding the “attitude” shown to sex abuse victims and their families, by Catholics in general, Msgr. Telthorst agreed to talk with me.   I asked him to come to my house and a friend from SNAP, MaryEllen, whose son had been a victim and had taken his own life, and my husband joined us.    Telthorst did listen to us.  It seemed he had an understanding of the victim’s point of view.  He asked us what we wanted him to do.   He agreed to mention the victims in prayer during mass and to work the subject into homilies when possible.  We also asked to allow SNAP members to address the parishioners at his parish in the near future.  He gave us hope that this would happen.  The last I heard he may be trying to work something in over lent.  I’m not holding my breath.   During our meeting I had told him I had written several letters to Archbishop Burke since his arrival, and he’s never even had the courtesy to acknowledge receiving them.  I was surprised to receive a letter dated June 2 from Archbishop Burke.  It was an apology, but not one that made me feel comforted.  “In the middle of all his propaganda was ”I understand that a number of circumstances related to the ministry of your late brother, the Rev. Norman Christian, are very troubling to you and have resulted in  considerable pain for you and for others.  I am aware of the various ways in which you have expressed this.  In the name of the Archdiocese, and of my predecessors, I express my heartfelt apology for the pain which you and others are suffering.” 

July 6. 2005 – I sent Archbishop Burke a letter saying “we give our donations directly to various charities, not to the Annual Catholic Appeal Collection.”

“Until I start hearing sincere public apologies being made to the church’s sexual abuse victims, offers of help in their recovery and hear the church leaders explaining to all Catholics that it wasn’t the victim’s fault that they were abused but that some “religious” shamefully betrayed the trust of a young child and its parents, my husband and I won’t participate in your appeal.”

I marked our “card’ as UNWILLING TO PARTICIPATE in the appeal collection.

September 6, 2005 – I received a response from Repr. Mike Vogt reassuring me he “will support any legislation that will do what the church has failed to do.”   I had written him to support a bill.

It’s a never ending battle.  Over the years that I’ve been watching and interacting with the church leaders, I’ve seen little, if any change in how they treat their “religious” pedophiles and their sexual abuse victims and families.  Since Tim found the courage to press charges and force the church leaders to admit the truth publicly I feel a little headway being made.  Slowly, other victims are finding the courage to come forward.   There’s a long way to go, but at least it’s a start. 

A brain tumor support group I once belonged to carried a slogan that applies to SNAP members as well:  “None of us is as strong as all of us.”  

We all need to turn to each other for strength and support.

My wheels are starting to grip.

               Carol